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The camera is a mirror

The shame of being seen, in small doses.

The mirror isn't a neutral bit of glass. It's often the exact place the criticism happened, which is exactly why it's the place to put a new memory. Nothing here is a programme. Do thirty seconds and stop.

Thirty seconds a day

Let your body find out it survives being unattractive.

Certain expressions are wired to shame. You make the face, an old alarm goes off, you smooth it out before anyone catches you. So make the face on purpose, and nothing bad happens, and you lay down a new memory in the exact place the criticism used to happen.

From "The Exercises"

  1. 1Stand in front of a mirror. Actual mirror, or your phone camera flipped, whatever's closest.
  2. 2Close your teeth and show all of them, the ones right at the back too.
  3. 3Open your eyes as wide as they go. Then scrunch your nose and your eyes up small.
  4. 4Keep moving your face in ways you'd never let anyone see. Thirty seconds is longer than you think.
  5. 5If shame comes up, that's the point. You're safe while it's happening.

Thirty seconds of ugly

0:30

Afterwards

What came up in the mirror?

You're not doing this to become someone who loves mirrors. You're doing it so pretty stops being a standard you're failing to maintain, and goes back to being a feeling that comes and goes.